Oh my God!

My God this can’t be happening! God tell me, tell me this isn’t real!

I can’t believe all that I have foreseen is finally happening.

I cannot for a single second stand the way I feel.

I always knew. I always saw it coming. Enveloped now, encased by my worst fear.

I’ve never felt the nausea of longing to feel nothing, I never wanted to cease to exist, just disappear.

Fear memories are all that lie ahead.

Never have I felt so lost.
Memories dull my senses.

Fear tragedy is all that lies ahead. Never have I felt so dead.

Once felt so warm, now I’m fucking freezing.

I am the once embraced abandoned one.

I raised my eyes up to the light in hopes of finding healing; no relief was mine, I was burnt, by the sun.

There is nothing to me. 
There is nothing though there was a time 
I had felt elation before all sensation died.

I cannot breathe. 
I can’t deny that I’ve been feigning, 
for you, every vital sign defied. 

This means nothing to me. 
This means nothing so spare me the lies. 
I deny you sympathy just as I have been denied.

I cannot breathe. 
I can’t deny that I’ve been faking, 
for you, every sign of life. 

I died for the last lie, 
and the heartbreak for the first time, 
I could not take til I made you cry.

This is what you taught me. 
This is what you taught - and I learned well - 
to recognize that feeling easily can be dispelled. 

Show your wounds I’m bored with mine. 
Nothing is new. 
Don’t despair I rarely cry.

Oh my dear please dry your eyes. 
Who could harm you? 
To hurt you is to be despised, as I’d love to. 

Were you dying to go?
You just looked so exposed,
demure through the dark dancing lights.
I glided by.
I can’t deny that the shadows
betrayed you and I on that night.

Oh, I must confess I am overdressed.
Are you not impressed?
Darling I want to.
I’ll confess this too,
must you know the truth
this is all for you.
Darling, I want to Destroy you.

As you reached for my hand
did you then understand?
It was I who would lead you that night.
When you begged to know I was glad to show
that I needn’t be scared,
either way I still bight.

Oh, I must confess I am overdressed.
Are you not impressed?
Darling I want to.
I’ll confess this too,
must you know the truth
this is all for you.
Darling, I want to Destroy you.


So here’s the final scene
when I finally come clean.
I’ve watched you for years.
And here’s my favorite part,
where you beg for my heart
and I disappear.

Oh, I must confess I am overdressed.
Are you not impressed?
Darling I want to.
I’ll confess this too,
must you know the truth
this is all for you.
Darling, I want to Destroy you.

(Source: incamelot, via disappear-withmehere)